Surprise!

Eeep. It's been a good long while since I've last blogged (sorry mom!), so I thought I would remedy that situation this morning.

Please excuse any tangential ramblings and other nonsense - I'm functioning at about 67% capacity right now, due to lack of sleep.

But, that lack of sleep was for a good reason.

Adam and I traveled "overseas" to Victoria on Saturday and returned early (VERY EARLY) Sunday morning.

Why the short trip? We went to surprise my mom and help her celebrate her birthday in style.

Dad first approached me with this idea one hot day in July when I was visiting Nanoose Bay. I believe I was basking in the early morning sun like a lizard when he approached, all sly-like.

He told me that this birthday was a big one for mom and he told me, very earnestly, that he wanted to make this year's celebration truly memorable.

As I've hinted to before, my family has been braving some figurative storms for a while now, and dad told me that he wanted this trip to be a nice and welcome distraction for the whole family. He wanted us to concentrate on love and family and togetherness, and not on the negatives that have been at the forefront for far too long.

And, so, as the months progressed in their steady march towards the fall, dad's plans began to take shape.

He planned a trip to Victoria for himself and mom, including reservations for dinner at a very chic restaurant and an overnight stay in a beautiful hotel suite.

He also arranged animal care for the dog and cat - all behind mom's back.

Meanwhile, as the day approached, Mike, Adam and I all fostered and perfected our excuses as to what we were doing that weekend. We figured that if the three of us invented complicated weekend plans, mom would be less suspicious that we had anything to do with dad's master plan.

Dad broke the news that mom and he would be going on a trip on her actual birthday (September 7). He gave her no more hints and I did my part by feigning surprise when mom called to tell me about dad's plan.

I talked to her on the eve of the surprise weekend and put my theatre degree to work.

"Do you know where you're going yet?" I asked mom, trying to gauge if she was cluing in to anything.

She responded in the negative and then asked what I was doing this weekend.

"Oh", I said, putting a tinge of sorrow and weariness into my voice, "I have to work. I have to go to Chilliwack and put on an investor education seminar". I think I played things up by sighing loudly at this point.

I then went on to weave my tragic tale about having to figure out directions to the Chilliwack Rotary club and having to do the presentation myself and telling mom that I was nervous, etc.

Adam was on the chair next to me smirking quite distractedly.

Truly, it was an award winning bit of lying.

And, with that, I told mom to have a good time and to call on Sunday and give me all the details about the trip.

I must admit that I was excited to hear that dad planned to take mom to Victoria. I love Victoria and will pretty much come up with any excuse to wander around that city.

I'm not sure if I would have been able to muster the same kind of enthusiasm if dad had been like "Hey! I'm surprising your mom with a trip to Winnipeg."

Victoria is my heart city. It lives in me and I feel more at home there than I do in Vancouver. I was proposed to there, I was married there, I have lived there and I hope to live there again in the not so distant future. But until then, I have to content myself with small trips to get my fill.

So Adam and I took off on a morning ferry and met up with a friend for lunch. After that, we drove leisurely through the different neighbourhoods of the city and basically reiterated to each other our great love for Victoria.

We stayed at the James Bay Inn, a purportedly haunted establishment that will be celebrating its centennial next year. I think I should demand a refund, as we didn't experience any other worldly visits that night. Not even any suspicious noises! It was a perfectly corporeal room.

We retired to our hotel room after lunch for a brief rest, where I subjected Adam to approximately an hour of the "Real Housewives of New Jersey" television show. As evening drew closer we got ready to go and meet my parents and brother at Vista 18 atop the Chateau Victoria hotel.

The plan was that Mike, Adam and I would be at the table at 6:45 and be waiting there for when dad and mom arrived for their 7:00 reservation. There was a kink in these plans, as the table wasn't actually ready until well after 7:15. So we ended up surprising mom in the lobby of the restaurant, right near the elevators! But it still had the desired effect.

We all sat down in the bar area and our table was finally ready. But not before mom had made friends with approximately everyone in the restaurant. I think as she ages, mom just gets friendlier and friendlier. Next year, I'll probably have to keep her from giving out random hugs to strangers.

The meal was...amazing. We stuffed ourselves on fantastic food and mom peer pressured me into having two cocktails. Steph + cocktails = loud, inappropriate laughing.

After dinner, I gave mom her gifts. I had two wedding pictures printed out and framed. One of Adam and I (see below) and one of Mike and I. I also wrote her a wee poem.



As dinner wound down, I looked around and was struck by the realization that I was so lucky. Lucky to have such a wonderful family. Our family may be small, but we make up for it with the size of our hearts. I feel so safe with my family because I know that I'm kept buoyant by their love and support.

I wanted to crystallize that moment and hold it close to me forever, because it was just so indicative of the kindness that we all feel for one another. And how we could pull off this amazing present for mom, despite dealing with setbacks that might have pulled apart a lesser family.

I'm truly blessed to be part of the Butler clan.

Happy birthday, mom. I love you.

Das Ist Gut

Ok then.

I just (read: yesterday) got back from a wondrous trip to N-Bay, which spanned from Thursday evening until Monday afternoon.

The purpose of my visit was threefold:

1. To visit with my family (including my aunt Ingrid from Germany)
2. To eat lots of food
3. To attend a bonafide N-Bay party, hosted by my parents.

I definitely accomplished all three objectives. And the state of my pants today is making me think that I maybe over achieved on objective number two.

It's hard being so ambitious, I tell you.

The visiting of the family was great. I hadn't seen Ingrid for many years, so when she came to N-Bay my family took the opportunity to catch her up to all the recent happenings (translation: force her to look at 8343989038 of my wedding photos).

My aunt's presence also helped me achieve objectives two and three. In other words, Ingrid was a catalyst for my increased carbohydrate intake over the weekend.

I have to say that I'm quite suspicious of the German drinking water. Ingrid simply does. not. age. It's quite eerie. I'd like to conduct an experiment to see if everyone in Germany remains in a constant form of stasis or if my aunt is just lucky. If anyone would like to help me conduct this important "research", send me an email and I'll tell you where to deposit the funds.

And Ingrid does not just look young. As my dad remarked on Monday morning when Ingrid was flitting around the kitchen, "You don't act like a regular granny". And it's true. For a mother of two, grandmother of five, Ingrid seems to have boundless stores of both enthusiasm and impishness.

Ingrid is definitely not one to sit quietly in the corner and call everyone "Dear". Well, I think she called me "Dear", but she was probably busy giving me a noogie at the same time.

Ingrid is like a bundle of effervescence, personality and happiness all wrapped up in one exuberant package.

And it's wonderful to see her and my dad interact. They've maintained a tight sibling bond across oceans and I know my dad just delights in her presence. They have an easy familiarity that's so nice to observe.

I have the same kind of relationship with my own brother and I hope that our closeness will grow and intensify over time.

(I apologize in advance, because this entry is all over the place. I blame the 23 cups of tea I've had today)

The N-Bay party is a phenomenon unlike any other. It's like a neighbourhood get-together on steroids.

I think, when the party was in full swing, just over 55 people were chattering away on the balcony of my parent's house.

After eating my fill of the appetizers spread all over the house, I managed to flit my way through several conversational clusters.

Here are some of the things I talked about that evening:

1. Cats
2. Fishing
3. Growing tobacco
4. Hash brownies

Good times, good times.

The party this weekend made me think about my own neighbourhood and how, in some ways, we really don't fit the demographic of the area. We don't have kids and we don't have dogs.

What does everyone talk about? Kids and dogs.

I think I tried, once, to assimilate and talk about my cats and I was met with blank, uncomprehending stares.

It went something like this:

Them: Blah blah dogs and blah kids and haha blah kids!
Me: Sometimes, my giant striped cat rolls over on his back and I pet his belly.
Them: ....
Me: That's kind of dog-like behaviour!
Them:...
Me:...

FIN

After that one awkward interjection, I mostly keep to myself. I'm friendly and I don't actively throw rocks at any children (although I've been tempted...), but I don't make much of a concerted effort to interact on any meaningful level.

So, here is what we've learned from this post:

1. I like food (a lot)
2. I like Ingrid (a lot)
3. I've talked about hash brownies with a bunch of oldies
4. I am a bit of a neighbourhood hermit

PS: Ingrid, dad and I also went to Jedediah Island this weekend. On the way back, we checked our crab and prawn traps and actually caught stuff!

And I got over my fear of eating things that look the same dead as they did in life (ie: all manner of crustaceans).

Investing in Psychic Easter Bunnies

As I write this blog (from the comfort of my parent's Nanoose Bay home), I'm watching crows and seagulls feast on a variety of meat and cheese bits left over from a party 2 years ago. For some reason, this extra food was kept in the freezer and was saved for this precise reason.

We make our own fun out here.

There is a surprising amount of drama between these birds. The seagulls use their sheer size and bullying, but the crows have the stealth advantage. It really is anyone's game, but I think the seagulls are winning due to the fact that they have the ability to swallow 2pounds of cheese in one gulp.

Both parents are giving a spirited play-by-play of this Birdie Battle Royale.

I came out here on Thursday on my job's dime to give a presentation about investor fraud to the Parksville Newcomer's Club. Sharing the presentation with my co-worker, we talked to about 70 grey-haired individuals about how not to get scammed.

The presentation was not my best, due to the fact that both of my parents showed up and sat in the front row. This had the unfortunate side effect of causing me to forget what I was actually talking about and make up words that made no sense. Ugh.

My co-worker saved the presentation by telling ficticious stories about people "just like you" who were scammed. We managed to exit, but not before my co-worker almost signed himself up for a senior's bus tour of the island.

Waking up Friday, we were met with a power outage that lasted the majority of the day. After a rain-soaked drive to find breakfast, we came back home and cozied up around the fire. I spent a strenuous afternoon napping and reading and watching the storm rage outside. Seriously, I think I sprained something with all that excitement.

After witnessing nature's amazing destruction, Saturday dawned chilly, but beautiful. And it's a good thing, because mom had plans for me.

Back last summer, before I got married, mom planned to take me out to get my tea leaves read at a quaint little tea house in Nanaimo. Those plans fell through, and we decided to postpone our outing. Finally, the Saturday before Easter was the day of reckoning.

The tea leaf reading was interesting, and more of a psychic reading than anything else. I'm still processing everything she said. I'm internalizing it and seeing what might apply or ring true.

She did say a few things that struck a very deep chord and moved me to tears (which is mildly embarassing in that setting).

I'm interested to return to the tea shop and get my tea leaves read by one of the other women there - one of the traditional tea leaf readers, just to see what she has to say.

One thing the psychic did point out was that I carry far to much stress, about work and about family and I have to learn how to compartmentalize and let some things go. This is a hard concept for me to put into action, because I'm a "fixer" and I want to make sure that everything and everyone I love is taken care of and safe.

She also told me that I grind my teeth. And I do. I even have a sexy bite guard that gives me an alluring lisp.

She also told me that Adam and I were "it" and that he made me happy. Which is true. It's especially true when Adam buys me stuff (kidding!).

And on this Easter Sunday, I am very reflective. Of family and of work and of life. My brain only briefly slowed down to let me enjoy a giant breakfast of eggs, waffles and bacon. My brain knows better than to make me think while I'm eating bacon. Bacon will always be the priority over complex thought.

And now, dear readers, I bid you a wonderful and relaxing Easter and I'm off to enjoy the spoils of the Easter egg hunt mom set up for us "kids" in the living room.

I'm happy to report that I won the egg hunt by an embarassingly wide margin.

Family Ties

It's now nine days post Belize and I owe the world a blog post of epic proportions! That post, however, will have to wait until the husband uploads the 329843948 pictures we took.

(Seriously. We put an 8 gig memory card into that poor camera and took pictures of basically everything.)

This post sees us back in Port Moody after a quiet, low key, but wonderful Christmas with the husband, the brother and the parents in Nanoose Bay, on Vancouver Island. Please forgive the saccharine nature of this musing - I'm overly full of love and sugar at the time of posting!

For various reasons, this visit had me thinking a lot about family.

I come from a small and close family. There are two kids, one mom, a step dad and a scattering of aunts, uncles and cousins that live in different corners of the earth. The four of us have been through some very hard, trying times. These situations could have done one of two things - we could have been torn completely apart, or we could have grown much closer and forged deeper bonds.

Luckily for me, the hard times drew all of us into the safe harbor of the family. We learned to rely on one another and I think we came out of these situations knowing a new definition for the world "love".

Now that both Mike and I are grown ups, this bond we share with each other and with our parents is even stronger and important to all of us.

There are some tense times in my family right now and, just as before, it's drawn us into a tighter, more cohesive unit.

And, so, this Christmas was less about gifts and presents and more about re-affirming the love we all share.

It sounds trite and cliche, but Christmas, to me, is about family and love and the familiarity of traditions that have lasted for years and years.

Of course, there is always room for more traditions as our family grows to include more loved ones (like my husband and Mike's girlfriend).

This was a pensive and thoughtful holiday for me and it allowed me the opportunity to self-reflect.

So, amongst the wrapping and stockings and carols, I realized that it's the closeness and love I share with my family that's the true gift.

A Deep Well of Thanks

We received the thank you cards we had printed by our photographer. It's my job this weekend to write these notes of gratitude and thanks and love. And it's overwhelming. I'm not concerned about the inevitable case of writer's cramp that I'm going to get, I'm concerned because I don't think I can fit the magnitude of my appreciation on these little cards.

When I think back to the people who came together, from the ends of the earth, to witness our marriage, it makes my breath catch in my throat.

And I'm not just talking about the day of the wedding. I'm talking about the family who cried happy tears right along with me as I shared my proposal story. I'm talking about the friends who made it their personal mission to find me corset ribbon and to accompany me to dress fittings.

Everyone who attended the wedding (and those who were there in spirit) deserve more thanks than I can possibly write. I don't think putting pen to paper can quite convey the sense of love I feel when I think about the small and big things that were done to help make the wedding a success.

And it goes deeper. How do I think my parents for showing me what to look for in a marriage. For showing me what deep, true love looks like? How do I thank a family of in laws who have all but adopted me as their own?

So, even though all of these people will receive thank you cards, I hope they all know that the gratitude I hold for them goes far, far deeper than what I can ever possible hope to write.